From Target to freedom

I needed to buy new phone and an iron.  I have been putting the shopping trip off without really knowing why.  Today as I was walking out of the store, with my new phone and iron in bags, I understood myself.

My heart literally felt pinched by the number on the receipt.  It's not a big number, but if you know you need to be careful with spending, a trip to the store could feel forced and therefore, somewhat painful.  More expenses!! I wish I didn't have to spend this money... but I need the phone(line) to save my cell phone minute and I need the iron to save money and time to the cleaners.

How not to indulge oneself but also not to overkill by becoming stingy; how to use money wisely and not become a slave of it was something I was thinking about as I was walking in the parking lot on a normal September day like today.

People who don't need to be watchful to make ends meet most likely will not have struggles like this.  They know they have more than they need to spend, or even want to spend.  (Or do such people exist? I am thinking about the Hollywood celebrities.)  For ordinary people like me, this is like many other to-be-or-not-to-be-questions in life.  How much is enough? What is more important? Do I really need this? Is it wrong to sometimes let yourself go and just enjoy yourself? What qualifies for "sometimes"？

Confucius talked about 從心所欲不逾矩, or loosely translated to refer to the freedom to follow your heart's desires without violating (moral) norms. I admire that kind of freedom.  And that kind of being "right" all the time.  But I think Jesus gives us a better kind of freedom.  He talked about there is no condemnation in him.   He knows only when there is no fear of being caught making mistakes, are we free to live our lives with the resources He has given us.  

He has given us plenty of opportunities to learn to make right decisions.  Going to Target to buy what I think and rethink to be "necessities" is just a blessed example of that learning experience.  It would be scary, to say the least, if there WAS condemnation, because many times only when we look back, could we conclude if the decision was right.