pj's and privacy

While driving to work this morning, I saw an Asian man walking down the sidewalk in his pj's.  I was appalled. And realized no so soon after that this is what the process of assimilation has done in me.

When I was a child, I remember going to the open-market with my grandmother, and I saw people wearing their loungewear and pajamas , apparently just out of bed, bustling between grocery stands, trying to get the most fresh produce and meat and maybe bringing home breakfast too.  The sight of pajamas in public places didn't bother me at all.

28 years ago I came to the United States and started learning the concept of privacy and living in and around the respect, even demand, of it.  It feels good.   You feel safe, important and there starts to be a sense of ownership of your life.  You learn what to reveal and what not to.  And it's okay because you are the owner, and you decide.

Pajamas are not for public places!!  Pajamas is something you wear when you are in your home; it's meant for the bedroom.  Okay, kitchen sometimes too.  Not the sidewalk!

I used to hear my Japanese neighbor scolding her daughter because she didn't change into work clothes while vacuuming.  This morning when I saw that man, I think I felt the same way.  I used to think my neighbor was too rigid and harsh on her daughter.  She was just vacuuming.  As long as she gets the job done well.  I thought that should be all it mattered.

When a social norm is violated, we have an emotional reaction to it.  With my bi-cultural background, finding what is "norm" for me has been... at times, shocking, to myself.