My Big Head and A Fun Day

I think I really think too much! But I really also like this part of me. And because I know the first sentence really should read as, "People say I think too much." but the second sentence comes from me, I would say... truth be told, I really like this part of me! And THAT'S why I have not changed. See, that's the big head talking.

My day started at 5:40 this morning. Kind of feeling crazy for getting up when it was still dark and walking Beau when the whole world was still sleeping. I almost though I could hear my neighbors breathe in their sleep. As I turn at the corner, I ran into my neighbor Ruben. (So I guess the whole world was not sleeping!) And his two dogs. One great Dane and bulldog mix, (i think) called Tyson, (that name makes me want to laugh... Isn't Tyson some brand of chicken? I know some boxer also named Tyson, but chicken was my first reaction when I was first introduced to him.) The other one is a tiny bichon mix. Both of them had their T-shirt on. Ruben said, "They just woke up, and I don't want them to feel cold." We said bye and went our separate ways. I felt like laughing. Dogs... just woke up... T-shirt to keep warm... somehow, the idea of Tyson and little sister "waking up early" was comical. They are dogs. "Just woke up" is to describe humans. That reminded me of my old neighbor, who told me, "If you want to visit B, you need to wait cuz she is taking a nap." A dog taking a nap? Maybe B has afternoon tea too!

I needed to meet with someone this morning, and as I was driving, I realized I had already "written" numerous research papers about this person in my head. At the time, the papers felt like evidences that lead to a conclusion that this person stands no chance to be rehabilitated. And I felt awful. Almost did not want to continue the drive. Now, some 10 hours later now, I don't even remember my "papers" but had a fun day with myself instead. Interesting internal landscaping that is a totally different reality from the outside world. Had I made decisions based on that "landscaping" I would surely have ruined my day. Thankfully, I didn't not let my big head take charge today. I have learned to be patient with myself. Went to a nursery called "Eden" to cool off and had a heavenly time with myself, picking up some 1-gallon lavender and seeds to grow.

Failed tonight's session according to myself. Said a prayer for myself, asking the Spirit to cover me.

Time to go to bed and let my big head rest.

Things That Make Me Happy (3)

Line dry my clothes (I made sure the image was decent so you can look.) on a beautiful California early Spring day. That makes me happy.

To make room for the new garden, and so that I and my sometimes guests can have a better view of my small yard, I had Pablo remove the octopus like clothes rack/hanger/lines thingy in the middle of the backyard. With that gone, I "designed" my own clothes drying apparatus. :-) I used an old curtain rod and let it rest on the fence on one side, and my patio post on the other. I was quite proud of myself for this humble invention.

Voila! My colorful bathroom mat should be the focal point. Other clothing items play supporting roles. :-) I am looking forward to dusk when I can bring them down and smell the sun and feel the cleanness in them. Both the Before and After (of drying them outdoor) brings great joy.

Do you know how to "smell" the sun?

Praise the Lord for the 5 senses! It's really fun to mix them up too, and enjoy the... cross-breed? Like to draw the music you hear, to smell the food you see in a cook book, and to feel the warmth of an imaginary kiss from your daughter?

Things That Make Me Happy (2)

I bought this from Taiwan.

The little flame brings me to far away places of mystery and dream. That's me.

I was quite surprised at the aroma the sunflower elixir gives out. I would drop 5 to 6 drops into the shallow dish, filled with water, and let it burn slowly. My whole room would smell very soft. I think it's quite amazing how a room can smell "soft"; a textile descriptive. But that's what I smell. :-)

In order to light the tea candle, I had to learn how to use a cigarette lighter. In the beginning, I would have sore and swollen thumb caused by futile attempts to roll the tiny wheel on top to ignite. I would switch to my left hand and wished I had been ambidexterous and because I am not, left thumb was no us at all. Now I am better at it, I can make the lighter work in a few tries, but am still learning how to hold the lighter at such an angle that it lights the candle, and not my thumb!

Quite amazed this little thing can bring me such joy.

Thought at Midnight

When a divorced Christian talks about the sanctity of marriage and the kind of sacrificial love that couples need to give each other for their marriage to work, among other important things, how is she/he perceived? A hypocrite? Someone who makes others want to puke?

When someone who has had an abortion talks about the sanctity of life and calls herself pro-life, is she contradicting herself?

When someone who is abused and who severs the abusive relationship talks about love is a choice, should we despise her, because she doesn't practice what she preaches?

Lord, have mercy.

Life is full of tough choices for most people. Only in his mercy do we grow stronger. I need that mercy for myself, and I pray that he grant me the mercy for others who falter.

Things That Make Me Happy (I)

I am no Maria, but there are things, small things, that make me happy.

Like these roses in my young garden. I had Pablo plant them 3 weeks ago, and they are already giving me roses. I toured (the word "tour" makes it sound like I had a big garden. It is not big at all, only about 6' x 6'. I didn't want to use "patrol" because that somehow reminds me of the police. Way too serious.) my garden this morning, as always, after coming back from walk with Beau, and saw these roses.

They made me very happy!

Praise the Lord!