How Much Getting Used to Before You Get Used to

"Get used to it...Get used to it... Get used to it...!!"

How much do we need to tell ourselves this before we finally don't feel much?

A child yearns for his parents to spend more time with him but is also old enough to know parents need to work long hours.  He tells himself, "Get used to this..."  When he comes to the therapist's office and is asked this question, "so how do you feel when you spend most of your time alone at home?" He says, "I am used to it." with a shrug.  I wonder how many times he must have said this to himself  before he finally doesn't feel the pain anymore?

A woman comes in to complain being cheated by her boyfriend over and over again, and she said to herself, "He is just like this and he promised me not to lie to me again.  I need to get used to this and prove to him my unconditional love for him." When asked how she feels about being lied to and found out later, she said, "I am used to this." with tears in her eyes.  I wonder how many times she must have said this to herself so she can continue to be with him.

A mother comes to talk about how her family doesn't respect her.  She works outside the home and she still needs to do almost all of the house chores and cooking.  She looks exhausted and old for her age.  I asked how she felt about being treated this way by the ones she loved.  She said, "I am used to it." but she looked down and her tone diminished.  I said to myself, she must have said this to herself a lot... get used to it... get used to it... they are just like this.  

When we say we are used to something, there usually has been a time when we were not used to it.  We felt powerless to change the situation but we can't, as children, or we don't want to, as adult, leave either.  So we tell ourselves to get used to it.  Eventually we don't feel anything anymore.  Our hearts become hardened.  We think this is a way out, but we fail to notice that when our heart hardens, we die a little.  Joy is also harder to find as our capacity to feel life decreases.  We train ourselves to get used to pain, we lose life along the way.

Pain is not something to get used to.  Pain reminds us of our limitation as the created.  Pain reminds us of the fact that we live in a fallen world.  Pain reminds us that we have gone astray.  Pain reminds us there are more important thing in life than avoidance of pain. Pain pushes us to God.  Pain reveals how demanding we are.  Pain reminds us He works in mysterious ways.  Pain reminds us we are alive.

Pain is better than getting used to if we want to grow.  Pain humbles us; getting used to makes us think we are invincible.