On Time

Even dust takes time to settle.

For everything that happens in our lives, there is our emotional responses to it.  like dust in our environment, we usually are not aware of our emotions until they are stirred up.  Once stirred up,  it takes time to settle, and they may not land at the "right" place.  Once stirred up, our emotions need time to settle too, and they also don't always "land" at where they are supposed to belong.

But how are we doing in terms of taking time to let our emotions settle? And do we make sure they "land" at the right places? 

For fear, we need to find security.  For loneliness, we need to find frienship.  For sadness, we need to find tears.  For happiness and joy, we need to find a buddy to share.  For anger, we need  to find what's behind and beneath.  For hatred, we need to find forgiveness.  And the list can go on.

But imagine, if you don't have time to let them all settle, and find their places.  they are everywhere, and you suffocate or you explode to pieces.  People around you get hurt, and you get hurt too.  

Or, if you don't know what they are and therefore can't find the "right" place for them to land.  Say if you think you feel lonely, when in fact you are afraid. You go out to find friends to chase away lonely feelings, but fear is still there, floating in the air; no place to land, still seeking to get your attention.  You think you are angry, when in fact you are hurt and sad.  You seek revenge, or outlet for your anger to "land" but your sadness is still lurking in the corners of your heart and you don't feel "settled" at all, even after an anger outburst and your friends, including yourself, find you unreasonable.  

I was talking to Richard, my mentor, and for something he said, I was feeling a lot of emotions but I didn't know what they were and I became quiet for a while.  He caught them fleeting, exclaiming "Look at all those emotions on your face!" I felt embarrassed.  He saw something in me that I didn't.  I tried to explain, as if seeing rainbow after the rain, he cried, "there's a different emotion on your face now!!"  I told him we are just friends, and I wasn't really in a mood to be "diagnosed" so I didn't ask him to clarify.  I also think my pride had a lot to do with me not wanting to know more about myself. :-)

I have been humbled again and again lately by the dominance of the swiftness of time and how limited we are, bound by time.  

A wise person invests his time in answering to the single calling from his Maker.  Nothing else matters.

Yoko thinks, "Hm....what is my calling? Be her watch dog?"